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Day 7 of #30DayChallenge for October!

Actually, the reason why I wasn’t able to write for the past few days was because….
I felt bored.

Convincing, yes? I don’t know about you guys but I randomly get bored even though my schedule is jam-packed. Did it ever occur to you to feel bored even if you are with someone, or you are in a bar with your favorite people or go shopping without restraints (well technically you kind of ‘have’ the resources to do so lol)? It sometimes happens to me, actually. I pretty much got bored all of a sudden and from there, I decided not to exert any conscious effort in ALL aspects. Say, for example, I started to play a no-brainer game instead of my usual logic games, did minimal decision-making for work and personal duties or made my mom decided what will I wear when I go to work. I think we all have rainy days like this – that you sometimes just want to let it all flow and don’t mind about whatever happens just because. On my case, it lasted for nearly a week. What happened to me was my mind had gone wandering around, however, I didn’t exactly feel sad. It’s as if I had a vacation, just that, it’s only my mind who left and wander off. But as the word ‘vacation’ implies, it’s only temporary and only lasts for a short period of time.Β 


When I woke up today, it’s like the ‘be-the-usual-Joh’ Reset Button got turned on. I felt okay and relaxed and I already decided that I’ve got to do what I got to do already. But I guess, I needed that kind of ‘power off’ from my daily routine. I think it’s also good to relax all my active cells and be a pretty stagnant potato sometimes.

So now, It’s about time for me to continue my unfinished business. To my readers (Mico, Barbs, Coy, Ava), I hope you are still reading and actively share your thoughts to me about my blogs. Many thanks for your constant support! 😊

Day 7: List 10 songs that you’re loving right now.

(My genrΓ¨ goes from Pop to RnB to Slow Rock so please understand why my playlist is kind of…..unique. Haha)

1.
Standing At The Edge Of The Earth (Blessid Union of Souls)

– I particularly have this song in my Top 1 because I really, really like the meaning of the song. It talks about someone who is willing to wait for a person that only God knows when she/he’ll ever come back. The saddest part is, it was already anticipated that eventually, that person will leave. It’s not like I can relate, but what struck me most is the genuine feeling of trust and dedication. Favorite line: ‘I knew that this moment would come in time, that I have to let go and watch you fly. I know you’re coming back so why am I dying inside?’

2. Location (Khalid)

To be honest, this song was played again and again on radios, restaurants, and pubs which makes me unconsciously sing out loud. Haha. But one thing’s sure, I like this song not just because of the tune but because of the meaning. Khalid’s way of singing makes us think he’s bored yet there’s a hint of soul in it. The song talks about the younger generation about being so fixated in our mobile phones and finds it enough for us to communicate through SMS/Chat. He wants to reiterate about asking one’s ‘location’ and he will go there right away instead of having virtual conversations. Favorite line: ‘Send me your location, let’s focus on communicating ‘coz I just need the time and place to come through.’

3. Capsize (Frenship)

I love this song!! Lol. This song has 2 parts – first one talks about these 2 lovers who ended up being apart from each other and both of them are trying their best to move on, second part talks about the singer’s first love who changed him into a better person but still ended on a breakup and made the second verse dedicated to her. Although it sounds sad, It’s actually a mixture of both uplifting and despair kind of feelings. It had me on both tune and meaning which is why I have this on my playlist. Kind of a ‘reminder’ for me about my past relationships and the ‘could-have-been’ thoughts. No favorite line since I like everything about it.

4. Hey There Delilah (Plain White T’s)

This song is quite dear to me since my first love made me a song which is entitled ‘Hey there Johara’ which was mirrored to this song. Awww. Hahaha. Even though we ended quite bitterly, this song has been etched in my heart because if you have listened to this, the song goes on and one for her love to Delilah. It’s like a reminder to Delilah that wherever she goes, she is always in the guy’s heart and all the sweet things the guy have mentioned in the song is only for Delilah. The tune of the song gives off the feeling of being in the countryside. Favorite Line: ‘Hey there Delilah, don’t you worry about the distance. I’m right there if you get lonely. Give this song another listen, close you eyes.’

5. Sunset (Marques Houston)

Just like the title of the song, sunsets are the best part when the day comes to an end. The Sunset was compared to a relationship that ended but the guy has been thinking of the girl even after the breakup and hopes that one day, they would at least be friends. It also talks about how the guy adores the girl – how he was caught off guard by the girl and fell in love with her, or how he describes the girl as a rare catch. If you’re a girl who will listen to the song and feel for the guy, you’ll probably end up being sad. And betrayed. It’s as if the girl only loved the guy half-heartedly. Nonetheless, I like how sweet yet painful the song is. Favorite Line:.No matter what happened between me and you, I’ll always be the man that you could run to. I loved you then I love you now and forever ‘coz you’re my sunset.’

6. How Do I Breathe? (Mario)

RnB vibe on this song, by the way. The song makes you want to sing coz of the catchy tune. I’ve always been a fan of Mario and his songs and one of my all-time fave is this song. It talks about someone who feels lost and breathless after a breakup. Funny as it may seem but I find it kind of cute. Lol. The tune just piqued my interest and I listen to this song whenever I want to feel mushy. Hahaha.Β 

7. More Than You Know (Axwell /\ Ingrosso)

When this song was first released on Spotify, it won my heart right away particularly the Acoustic Version. I didn’t know how an upbeat slash electro genrΓ¨ turned into acoustic sounded so pure and sweet. All the more when I knew that the former ‘Swedish House Mafia’ group now known as the aforementioned can sing like that! Talk about total eargasm! The song talked about a lover being appreciated. This is my go-to song in times when rainy days are over me. It makes me feel refreshed, loved, and that there’s this one person who appreciates me best. It keeps me going. Favorite Line: ‘I just need to get it off my chest. More than you know, you should know that baby you’re the best.’

8. Ice Box (Omarion)

Going back to good ‘ol 2000’s! I think there is something about Black American’s voice which constantly keeps my playlists grow every single time. Like Mario, Omarion’s voice is so sexy. This song brought out the best in him. As someone who has gone through a difficult breakup, the song makes me guilty for some reason. Somehow, it’s like the guy will eventually get tired of me if I become too difficult to handle which leads him being cold to me and eventually, would give up. Ironic as it is, I like the song because it’s subtly saying that I should be transparent from the start since it’s a way to help each other. I mean, if the relationship fails, then at least there won’t be regrets since all has been said and all has been laid.

9. No Vacancy (One Republic)

Summer vibes coming from One Republic? It’s so refreshing! One Republic Songs are known to be emotional and dark, but this song is very different. It talks about someone who has felt new feelings, new life, and new discoveries. The guy found his love of his life and suddenly, his dull world became a rollercoaster ride. It’s a fun song – lyrics was well thought, tune is catchy, and the band had a great comeback. Favorite Line: ‘Used to be that I felt so damn empty, ever since I met you no vacancy.’

10. African Queen (2Face Idibia)

Anyone here who has watched PHAT Girls? If you haven’t, you wouldn’t want to miss it for the world! The song is an original soundtrack dedicated to this movie. The song talks about the lesson of the movie – about appreciation of oneself, the uniqueness of a woman’s beauty, ecstatic feeling of being in love. This band got their debut right after this song and guess what? The band is comprised black Americans! Quite similar vibe when you listen to Reggae, or with Kolohe Kai’s. Going back to the movie, I like it so much since it gives a beautiful meaning to the word ‘FAT’ or as the main characters would similarly pronounce it as ‘PHAT’ – Pretty, Hot And Thick and that is to love yourself whatever your physical disposition is. Body shaming has been the hobby of many social sharks especially when these people see that your body is not the ‘normal’ size as ‘it should be’. This movie heightens awareness to those ladies to embrace their unique body features and never be ashamed of it.Β 

My gosh, I think I’ve expressed myself too much on a topic where one can simply give a one to two liner answers. Haha. I have to admit, this topic is really simple but I was able to lay down my inner thoughts on why I love these songs. I had too much fun in making this blog. πŸ™‚
Well, I hope you didn’t get bored for reading though!Β 
Out and About!

Joh~

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Day 4 of #30DayChallenge for October!

A LO HAAAA! 😊😊😊
It’s a Humpday Wednesday today which means…… the weekend is near! Wohooo! πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰

Before I begin my Day 4, I actually don’t have the slightest idea on how do I start writing – perhaps because I’m having a hard time to think of how do I answer the question…? Or maybe I simply don’t know if I can even answer it.

So currently, I’m on my 4th cup of wine while contemplating Day 4’s topic (4 should be the lucky number? Haha) Aaaand on this 4th cup, I have finally found my answer! Special thanks for the unwavering support, Wine. You saved me tonite.

Day 4: Write about someone who inspires you.

Some people would automatically say that it’s their mom who serves as an inspiration to them, or their father, or sister. For me, it’s not that I don’t feel the same way like them ‘coz I really do. However, going back to the topic and asking myself, again and again, the clouds in my head seemed to gradually disappear until I was able to park on one answer.

After all, I am more inspired by….


The Better version of me.


Conceited as you think, but there is no other person who I feel inspired every day but the better version of me. However, I’d like you to understand where is this ‘confidence’ coming from as I can definitely assure you that my reason for having that does not come off easily.

As someone who has studied Psychology in Uni and has practiced the course after graduation, there have been countless times where I thought that I was the stupidest, dumbest and reckless person alive and how ironic do you think it is? Someone who is known to be Alpha, perky, extrovert and a people-person feel the exact opposite of herself? Truth be told, I am a woman full of insecurities and doubts and this has been my unfortunate drawback whenever rainy days come.

Introspection was my only best friend. I learned to take a deep dive into the depth of my thoughts and at the same, acknowledge who I am and I’m not. All my life, I have tried my best to achieve what was expected of me – in terms of grades, relationships, careers, and goals and luckily, I was able to manage and get through with all of it positively. My grades were great, I didn’t have any boyfriend during college days, I am able to have a stable job and my goals are always set. I haven’t been the greatest daughter or sister to my family since I have too many shortcomings but I know that in general, I was a good girl. Even Santa can praise me for that. πŸ˜‰

Now that I grew old and able to experience many different things, my behavior and logical reasoning started to shift – I became toxic both to myself and to my work, I hated everything around me, I don’t give a damn whether I hurt other people so long as I have given a piece of my mind and I became too rational to the point my reasoning is pathetic. In short, I became a total mess and I despised myself for being one.

So, what’s the deal? How does this support my answer to the topic? Well, it was actually during the First Sunday last September 2017 where I attended the Holy Mass and instead of hearing the Word Of God, my mind was having her own discussion about myself.

“Joh, what has become of you?”, ” Joh, are you happy?”, “Joh, do you even need a boyfriend who doesn’t share the same goals with you?”, “Joh, is your job giving you the fulfillment you wanted?”. It was as if the Holy Mass was the perfect avenue for me to organize my thoughts and simply focus on what has been going on with me. I know it defeats the purpose of attending the Mass but I was truly grateful for that time because if not for that, I wouldn’t be able to feel the genuine joy, freedom, and clarity that my heart had longed for. I’m sure God is happy in a way. 😁

That time, I was able to face myself, conquered my own battles and reached a conclusion. It is to say that….
‘Stop. It’s okay. It is still okay.’
Now,Β I always remind myself that it’s okay.

It’s okay to feel stupid.

It’s okay to feel dumb.

It’s okay to feel restless. Why?

Meaning, there is ample room for growth and personal change! Do I really want to stay toxic all my life? Do I really want to break up with my boyfriend? Do I really want to leave the company? All of these concerns come gushing to me since I’m so used to living the fast-paced kind of life that whenever there is something that piques my interest, my attention is diverted right away and I tend to forget all other important things. Worst? If I am not able to answer my own worries, then paranoia take over and I go back to being a mess. I know I am someone who got lots of dreams to aim, lots of ideas to realize, and lots of energy to share, but sometimes it becomes so overwhelming that the only decision I can come up is simply to quit and say that I’m done. But no, that is definitely not me.

If I must say, September is the turning point of my life. It was my first time to be on the slumps for quite a while (it lasted for nearly 3 weeks) but fortunately, I came back. Who helped me? Well, guess who…..
….me. I helped myself. The better version of myself helped the lame Joh to get past all personal issues that I experienced. There has been a constant battle within me and my negative side but at the end of the day, the idea that I can still change for the better and become a good person always keep me from going astray. And my inspiration will never change.

Quite a lengthy post, eh? Maybe it’s the alcohol that’s talking. Oh well.

Out and About!

Joh~